Human

If ever I am presented with a question, there will be three possible responses:
Yes, no or I'm not sure.

Yes: Means I want something, or rather my view is more towards the particular direction

No: Means I prefer not to

I'm not sure/ Anything possible: It's a nicer way to say "whatever". It's either I have no comment on that matter or I don't care to comment. Get it?

The idea of being not assertive is someone who changes his/ her mind in split seconds. In short, it is being represented by the Chinese phrase "人云亦云".

Sometimes I just don't understand why humans see others' weaknesses but not theirs. I'm not hinting that I'm perfect anyway, I do have weaknesses. From time to time, I encounter situations where A is speaking ill about B but A himself has the same problem. Also, there are times when you meet people who will never accept their weaknesses. Orally they may say "Oh really? Ok ok, I will pay more attention to that in the future" but in their heart they are filtering out what you just said thinking "Ah, she is just too demanding" and repeats the same mistake again. On the other hand, there are also people who talk without processing what they say in their brains. *Reflective reaction perhaps*

The moral of the story: When you are pointing at someone, please remember that there are four other fingers pointing back at you. (I have four fingers pointing back at me now, *hit*)

WHY?

Why the problems?
Why the troubles?
Why?????!!!

I can't do anything.
My mind is out of control.
It feels like every part of my body is not coordinating.

I want to run.
Run to a place where there are no THEM.
And yes, you are right, I am not calm.

我不是温小花

不要因为我的手指稍微细长就暗自下决定说我是温小花，
不要因为我看起来像就说我是，
虽然我不怎么会煮饭烧菜，但至少基本的我都会...
我会很感激你的...

我...真的是无话可说！
太多太多事情闷在心里难以启齿，
真是感慨万分...
啊，别想了！！！

一大早起来突然有股力量和冲劲
想改变自己
不要再当从前的我
走出黑暗的影子
活出自己！

最后，我想趁今天献上我深深的祝福：母亲节快乐！
没办法给你最好的，也无法陪在你身边，但是在远远的角落，有一个人，她永远都不会忘记母爱的伟大。因为她知道，母亲终是把最好的留给她，就算全世界都反对，母亲还是会支持她...在最坏的时刻，母亲还是想办法把对她的伤害减低...当母亲知道她的心愿时，会想尽办法帮她实现...从小到大，母亲无微不至地照顾她，细心地教导她，陪她渡过生命中的每一天,陪她哭、陪她笑...
她也曾经叛逆过，曾经觉得母亲老了，有代沟，沟通不了了。多年后的今天，她想起时才发现原来是自己不够成熟...
她的母亲在别人眼中虽然是一个很平凡的人，但是在她心里，母亲永远都是最棒的！妈妈，我爱你...

Don't Understand

A little bit about complaints, I want to say that I.... don't know what I was copying!! Sigh, I don't care what limit it is as x approaches zero, I don't care f(x=c) or whatever it is, COZ I don't understand LAH!! Finally, I'm done with Math assignment, although I haven't fully understand what I was doing. (Next on the list: Silberberg and Campbell for the coming class test next week, though I'm more interested in what movie to watch next...)

Joyce = Spam?

This was what happened. Careless Joyce was doing something else when she signed in MSN. And then, she found out 3 unread emails in her junk folder from known senders. Quickly, she marked the first two as "safe" until she reached the third one. At first glance, she saw something about immigration, guessing that it was her visa approval mail. Too excited she became, she accidentally clicked on the "mark as unsafe" button and GONE!! Gone the mail and the sender was blocked, to her dismay. Frantically, she tried to recover her email but unfortunately, she did not manage to undone her mistake. :'(

She tried to email the immigration frontdesk, hoping that they will send her another email as soon as possible to her another email account. Fervently, she prays...

WHY?! Supposedly she should be jumping in joy when she saw "applicant approved" on her computer screen. She should be relieved when she finally managed to reduce her check-in-luggage to 24kg! Her problems should be all solved when the apartment management agreed to postpone her payment date. But why?! Why can't she enjoy the little moment of peacefulness? Why can't she savour the few days at home before leaving for Adelaide?

Is JOYCE = SPAM?

Bloody Janitors

The janitors cleaned my hostel but it's worth noting that the way they clean was rather creepy.

To clean my unit, they need to:
1. "Take without permission" a few packets of my 3 in 1 Milo. (Interestingly, they left 6 packets for me, should I thank them for their kindness?)

2. Accidentally carry my liquid handwash with them. (Maybe they used that to clean my hostel, or maybe they fell in love with my soap, lol!) GERAM! I bought that liquid handwash not long ago!!

3. Rearrange my study table to prove that they came, and "cleaned" my hostel.

4. Knock down the whole stretch of books while trying to move my table. (Once again, this is to prove their presence.)

5. Take some of my things and put them elsewhere. (Nonetheless, they were too eager to show their existence!)

6. Put some of the rubbish that I forgot to throw on my BED! (This is certainly unforgivable.)

7.Step on all the chairs so that we can know what sizes of shoes they wear.

8.Clean the fan unwillingly. (Because of that, they didn't fix the fan well back to its position and the fan is producing unpleasant noise all this while besides protraying certain degree of danger of falling down.)

The only conclusion that I can draw out is that they clean by taking. Other than that, they dirty.

AGAIN!

I was caught by that stupid guard AGAIN just now!

Apalah, sekarang ni 2007 atau 1957? 50 tahun merdeka dah, teknologi canggih, komunikasi canggih, apa pun nak canggih, sayang sekali, minda TERTUTUP!

They want us to learn Theology and Philosophy, we learned. They taught us that we need to be open minded as closed minded will lead to decline of a civilisation. And we learned. BUT, it seems that theory and practical aren't the same.

Somebody tell me please, is wearing a T-shirt and long pants indecent? This cannot; that cannot, next time just come out with a rule making baju kurung compulsory everyday for every occassion! Stupid authority, whoever sets the rules, and whoever implements them.

Is wearing what so important? As long as it's neat and decent, I don't think there's any problem. Moreover, wearing a T-shirt that fits you is 100 times neater than wearing an XXL T-shirt! And recently, I saw a notice informing the dressing code for some kind of dinner. Oh great, no sleeveless blah blah blah. The easiest way out is --- just write wear baju kurung lah!

Baju kurung --- kurung yourself!

I swear, I'm not going to follow the stupid rules and regulations the day I leave INTEC. I'm not going to wear long sleeves! I will proudly announce to the stupid guard that "SAYA BUKAN PELAJAR INTEC!"

Jia You!!

How long do I still need to lead a life like this?

Every morning when people are still slumbering in their comfortable beds, I need to wake up.

When the sun is scorching and the only thing that appear in my mind is to snooze, I need to be reminded that A Levels is coming soon.

The night is so quiet, too quiet that it seems to be liveless.

When I wake up in the morning, I see no light.

When I am going to sleep at night, I see no light as well.

When I walk outside, I see the usual same faces.

When I go to college, I sit at the same place, doing the same thing.

When I miss home, I will whisper to myself,

"Be patient, just another few more weeks."


===My journey begins tomorrow===
Be patient and be persevere!!! Jia you jia you, hehe!!!

Emo

PS: If you don't want your holiday mood to be affected by my crappy post, don't read.

At this time tomorrow, I will be on my way back to Shah Alam.

Why do I need to go back when everyone else is coming back?
Why do I need to study when the others are enjoying holiday back in their hometowns?
Why can't I do the stupid revision at home?
What is the point of repeating those past years that we had done before?
Why must you, INTEC deprive me of my time at home?
Why must it be compulsory but not optional?
Why must I be so pessimistic?
Why is ME???

I'm sad. I'm demolarised. I'm growing more melancholy every hour.

The NS list is up. And my bro got the 2nd batch. What to study, what to study? This seems to be the biggest problem that I faced two years ago. Sometimes, not everything can be expressed here. But what I can say is I truly understand the difficulties in making decision. Whether you had decided or not, there will certainly be objections. There are just too many things to be cared for. This is no good, that is bad. You will ended up being a nobody and so on. Okay, okay, that's enough. A moment of silence please.

What I want to see is evidence.
What I want to hear is maturity of thoughts.
What I want to know is not who who who study this and ended up being that.
What I want to listen is not this aunty her son studies this, and that aunty her daughter studies that.
What I want is: CONFIRMATION

Alright, adults know better. They are more experienced. They can read your mind. They know what you want. They will lead you to a better future! If you don't listen to them, you wil regret in the future. If you DO listen to them, you can't blame them in the future. But if you DON'T listen to them, they will blame you in the future.

I'm not talking about me. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about NO ONE.

GCE Timetable

Printed out Edexcel's timetable today. It is a long timetable, lasting for approximately one month from 7th Jan 08 till 1st Feb 08. However, glad to say that my exam schedule is way shorter than the actual timetable, from 9th to 28th Jan 08 only BUT the number of days I'm going to sit for exam is only 9 days! Well, how could it lasts for about 3 weeks then? Since every exam is almost the same, it's up to you to guess! =P

I wonder how persevere I will be during the one whole month. I can be very hardworking when time's really running out and every subject comes consecutively. Yep, I rather choose to be hardworking for two weeks and say goodbye to the exam as soon as possible. But sadly, I can only follow the fixed timetable, right?

So, I decided to come back to Penang after the revision month, say for two weeks then only I go back to SA. Hehe, anyway, the duration I'll be back is still tentative as I still couldn't make up my mind but one thing for sure, I'll be back, by hook or by crook!!

Exam Fever

Stacks and stacks of books,
more and more past years,
everybody's racing against time...

Study more,
practise more,
grab every single paper that you could find...

Guilty,
when you find yourself sitting in front of the laptop,
typing lines and lines of crappy stuffs;
when you are supposed to be in front of the books,
Biology, Chemistry or Math,
just anything!

Stupid Rule

For safety reasons, students of INTEC need to:
Wear student card wherever you go, whether you are attending a class or going back to the hostel. (Or you will be forbidden from entering the hostel)

HOWEVER,
A few weeks ago, a Domino lady came to my unit wanted to sell me Domino Pizza's coupons, which means that she actually bypast the stupid guards and came all the way up to 5th floor. AND ironically, she walked past "Brother Boon" 's house too!

SO,
What is the use of implementing rules without enforcement? Anyway, it's still amusing that I was caught today for not wearing student card.

"Dik! Dik!!" (I pretended that I didn't hear and continued walking)

"Apa pasal tak dengar pulak tu!"

"Macam student ke sikap ni?"

"Jika tak da student card tunggu kat luar panggil kawan ambil mari baru boleh masuk!"

FINE FINE FINE!
"Tak da orang kat hostel macam mana nak ambil student card?"

"Itulah saya kata next time kena bawa student card!"

*GRIN*

Stressed!

Arghh!! Trial is coming, stress intensifies, time's limiting and what should I do?

study, Study, STUDY!!!

BUTTTTTTT

Doing C4 Math past years had killed don't know how many brain cells of mine... Trying to understand the mechanisms for organic chemistry had added don't know how many strands of white hair for me... Biology? Oh God!! Why our body has got so many channels and pumps?!